Ten Mind Games Goldens Play with Humans|
1. After your
humans give you a bath, DONT LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump
up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if its right before
your humans bedtime.
2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back,
tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then,
watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think youve
caused. (Note: This only works when youve done nothing wrong.)
3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then when the
humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend
you have no idea what theyre talking about.
4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go pee, sniff around the
entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately
decide the fate of the earth.
5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most
visible spot to go poop. Take your time & make sure all watch. This works particularly
well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange
human walks by.
7. Make your own rules. Dont always bring back the stick when playing fetch
with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, dont greet them at the
door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you.
(Dont reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly
as possible back to the door.
10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans
take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans
can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)