10. There’s potpourri hanging from your Golden’s collar.
 9. Your Golden’s nails have been cut with pinking shears.
 8. Your Golden’s toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.  
 7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia.
 6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.
 5. You find liver dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters.
 4. Dog hair’s been collected & put in wire baskets for bird nesting material.
 3. A seasonally appropriate wreath adorns the front of your Golden’s crate.
 2. Your Golden goes outside naked & comes back in a hand knitted sweater.

And The #1 Way You Know That Martha Stewart Is Stalking Your Golden is

1. Your Golden’s droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.