If I Didn't Have Goldens . . . 1. I could walk around safely barefoot in the dark; 2. My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated; 3. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture and cars would be free of dog hair; 4. When the doorbell rang, it wouldn’t sound like the SPCA kennels; 5. When the doorbell rang, I could get to the door without wading through four or five dog bodies who beat me there; 6. I could sit how I wanted on the couch without taking into consideration where several little furbodies would need to get; 7. I would not have strange presents under my tree . . . like dog bones, stuffed animals, and have to answer to people about why I wrap them up; 8. I would not be on a first name basis with a veterinarian; 9. The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: potty, outside, sit, down, come, no, and leave him or her ALONE; 10. My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates; 11. My purse would not contain things like poop pick-up bags and dog treats; 12. I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, T-R-E-A-T-S, O-U-T-S-I-D-E, and F-R-I-S-B-E-E; 13. I would not buy weird things to stuff into ’kongs’ or have to explain why I’m buying them, or what a “kong” is; 14. I would not have as many leaves and Pine Straws INSIDE my house as outside; 15. I would not look strangely at people who think having their ONE dog ties them down too much; 16. I would not have to answer the question of why I have so many dogs from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever get. Who else has a friend who considers you the MOST important thing in the whole wide world, all the time?