What Is a Dog? 1. They spend the day sprawled on the sofa. 2. They can look dumb and loveable all at the same time. 3. They growl when they are not happy. 4. When you want to play, they want to play. 5. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 6. They leave their toys everywhere. 7. They do disgusting things with their mouths & then want to kiss you. 8. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you. 9. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room. Conclusion: They’re tiny men in little fur coats