Golden Love
 

     I'd like to start my story with this picture of Carly, because it's how I have felt for the last three and a half years. In the words of Simon & Garfunkel, I am a rock, I am an island, a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.
     Three and a half years ago my Mom was put in a rehab nursing home because of her illness, she needed round the clock care, and we were told she had six months to live but she made it for 3½ years.
     During this time a lot happened as you can imagine, trips to the ER more than I can count. Mom suffered from a broken hip and a couple months later a broken wrist, all from her falling while trying to go to the bathroom. My Mom also suffered from dementia. She had problems with her short term memory, so she forgot she could push the button for help. She also forgot she could get pain medication and would wait for me to come see her and tell me how much she hurt and would I please get something for her.
     I came everyday to check and make sure Mom got everything she needed and as anyone knows who has had a loved one in a nursing home that could be a real challenge. Everyday on my visits I would bring Carly with me. She gave me the inner strength I needed to handle all the things I had to face everyday while we were there. I found it very hard to put on a happy face and act like everything would be all right so my Mom would not worry and I tried to put her mind at ease.
     On December 27, 2001, my nephew was walking to his car with his girlfriend and a man took his girlfriend's pocketbook and took off running. My nephew chased him, and in doing so, he got shot. Lucky for him his girlfriend took him immediately to the hospital which was two miles away. The trauma surgeon told us how lucky he was to be brought in so fast. If he had to wait for the ambulance to reach him, he would have bled out. We didn't know if he would make it. The bullet tore his artery in his leg and tore through his intestines. He had a long recovery but thank the Lord he made it.
     During this time, I couldn't tell my Mom about her grandson being shot. I waited until he was out of intensive care and stable. I would spend my time driving two hours to visit him then turn around and come back to visit my Mom, all the while trying to keep my own fears to myself and not let on that anything was wrong.
      I couldn't wait to get home to see Carly and be greeted by her squeals and her wagging tail.
     This September my Mom passed away. She had a stroke that left her paralyzed and she couldn't swallow or talk. She suffered so much that we had the help of hospice and she passed peacefully. All during this time Carly was by my side. We saw my Mom everyday and Carly would put her head on my Mom's bed giving her licks on her hand. Without Carly walking with me down the hallway to my Mom's room, I don't think I could have made it without stopping to cry, but I knew I had to be strong and she gave me the strength to keep going.
     If the holidays weren't hard enough this year, without my Mom to share them with us, my brother-in-law suffered a heart attack on December 7th. He had already had a double bypass 10 years ago and the doctors said there was nothing they could do for him. His heart was too damaged, but since his heart worked he wasn't eligible for a heart transplant. He takes his medication and takes one day at a time. So everyday I expect a call from my sister, which I hope never comes.
     To make matters worse my sister-in-law called me February 5th and told me my baby brother had a massive heart attack while at work. He also suffers from diabetes. I thought my world would end. He lives in Germany and I just couldn't hop on a plane and visit him. He spent 3 days in ICU and is now in a private room doing better.
     Believe me when I tell you, there are days when I don't even want to get out of bed. When I start feeling down Carly will nudge my leg and let me know it's time "to live", go out, take her to the park or go visit her friends at my Mom's old nursing home.
     Carly helps me see things in a brighter way and appreciate life and the beauty it holds and I'm thankful for that. Carly is my golden light at the end of a very dark tunnel. She is my strength and she comes to my emotional rescue and she never leaves my side. I couldn't make it without her.