Toffee, My Life-Saving Candy!
 

     I got Toffee on my birthday this February. She was six weeks old then. I needed a companion real bad at that time because my twenty-eighth birthday reminded me of the trauma and the pain I had last year. I needed a new source of life and joy in my life to keep me going.
     I've been having a depression problem since July 2000. I was still married at the time of my diagnosis. I used to have one Golden-lab mix and a chow-collier-shepherd mix with me before I got divorced last October. They were my babies. They'd helped me to get by my days tremendously. But a few days after my 27th birthday last year, I had a severe burn accident. I had ten percent body burn of mostly third degree. I was hospitalized for a month and spent another week in a psychiatric unit. 
     The pain of not being able to see and take care of my babies took a big toll of me. Worst to come was that I found out my husband at that time was having an affair while I was in the hospital. Terrified and desperate, I filed a divorce. However, it ended up a bitter and painful process. My ex-husband got the custody of my babies. Part of me died because of that. 
     Months later, I found a good man in my life. Things were going well but still something was missing. I missed my children. I decided to get a puppy and dedicated my life to her as if I gave birth to her myself. I knew right away that a Golden puppy would be my choice. So on my twenty-eighth birthday this year, I went to the breeder and tried to pick one from the litters. I couldn't decide which one to pick as they were all so adorable and fluffy. But then a Golden fur ball with the biggest butt among the litters squeezed herself out from the crowd and stumbled towards me. I picked her up and she, without hesitation, started licking my face, as if she'd been loving me for a long time.
     Needless to say, she chose me to be the one who is lucky enough to be showered by her sweetest and unconditional love and her passion for life. She helps me realize that a lot of beautiful things are out there waiting for me. She also shows me that I'm a better and a beautiful person even though my whole back and my right buttock are full of scars due to the accident, simply because I was special enough for her. She never ceases putting a big smile on my face with her clumsy and funny act around me.
     Just this morning when I was standing in front of the mirror after I put my new red skirt on, she crawled under (inside) my skirt and rested underneath there as if she was invisible. I shouted, "Toffee, get out of my skirt! Mommy gotta get ready for work!" She just stood still until I pulled my skirt up and walked past her. She looked at me with a big ol' grin on her face. My heart melted. Such little joy she brings me everyday constantly reminds me of how lucky I am to be alive and to have her walk with me every step of my life.
     Toffee, the sweetest and the greatest candy in my world, I love you with all my heart, forever.